Back to Class
A few months ago, I received an email from my local library needing volunteers. I had somehow gotten on this mass email list months prior, and would often peruse the list to see what positions needing filling. Most of the time, the slots fell when I was chauffeuring children to doctors’ appointments or various activities. But this particular email spoke straight to my heart. They needed a sewing instructor to teach teens a two-part class at the library last Fall. I didn’t have the time in the Fall to pull that together, so instead the librarian and I decided to to put together two sewing classes for kids in March and then a teen/adult class for April.
Fifteen years ago, my husband left for a month of pre-deployment training. He would be “in the box,” military slang for unreachable. I would have zero communication with him. Going from constant communication to zero with my spouse and the father of my child honestly scared me. I knew this would be good practice for when he deployed and communication would be spotty, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit terrified.
I knew that I needed to stay busy while he was gone on both this training and while deployed. I randomly decided to learn a craft that I had very little to no experience with. So one afternoon my one year old daughter and I drove thirty minutes to the (then) closet Target and I bought a cheap sewing machine. With YouTube tutorials and a sewing professional’s1 blog, I began slowly teaching myself to sew. Over the ensuing years, I went from (very simple) skirts for my daughters to sewing Easter dresses, shorts, and other more complicated projects.
In the midst of all this, I was volunteering quite a bit. I have always felt compelled to help other people; it’s hardwired into my personality. While my husband served in the military, I cleaned barracks, made meals for families, helped with family support groups in my husband’s unit, and taught craft classes at the Wounded Warrior Center on our base. I was happiest when I was giving back to my community; volunteering fulfilled me immensely.
But then I lost myself; I sort of slipped away before I realized it. A medically complex child required frequent doctors appointments. Life got hard. I finally chose to heal some deeply hurting places in my heart. In the midst of it all, I gradually disappeared. During one therapy session early last year, my therapist looked me dead in the eye and asked a really tough question.
“What, besides sewing for your kids, do you do for you?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but had nothing to offer. And I was tempted to argue that sewing was something I did for myself, but she caught me before I could say it.
“Sewing is nice. But it’s one thing. And it’s often gifting to others. You need to find yourself again.”2
So, for over a year, I have been finding myself again. And I realized last fall, I missed volunteering so much. But I figured, with lot of appointments and children’s extracurriculars, those volunteering days might be over for awhile. Until that sewing class email. After a couple of months of planning, we scheduled two classes for kids.
Saturday and yesterday were those classes. I haven’t felt that happy and fulfilled in a long time. I love children. I love working with them, encouraging them, pouring into them. I also love sewing (no surprise to anyone who knows me). And as a former educator and now homeschooling mom I love teaching. My sewing class took all of those and melded them together into this amazing cup-filling experience.
I was so excited to share my love of sewing, of taking raw materials and making something beautiful and useable. Of feeling fabric sliding between your fingers as it feeds under the presser foot. Of finishing something I made myself.
Seeing these tiny faces focusing so hard on the cutting and the pinning and the sewing made my heart swell. Having them all, the quiet and shy ones and the extroverted and bolder ones approach me with their finished bag and their face full of pride and joy was an incredible moment. And every time, without thinking, I fell to my knees and got so excited with them. And the joy was multiplied.
I was on my feet for four hours, walking between machines, rethreading, helping cut, trimming seam allowances, clipping the corners. I was exhausted. But it was the best kind of exhausted.
Because I am pouring into others again. Lifting them up, sharing in their joy, sending love and encouragement right into their little hearts. I cannot express how wonderful that is for me.
I cannot wait to teach more classes. Next month, I’ll be teaching adults and teens. But, I hope to get more sewing classes for all ages on the calendar. I hope to foster a love of creativity in more souls. I cannot wait to love and encourage more people.
This morning, I recieved a text from a friend who’s daughter was in my class yesterday. The young girl had been sitting at her sewing machine all morning. Her words made me cry. “This all because of you…she is doing so much today and keeps saying she had so much fun.”
My heart is so full. It feels good to be back and be giving back.
I can’t wait for more.
I will be forever indebted to Dana Willard, a fellow sewer and mom, who has fabulous step by step sewing instructions on YouTube and her blog at https://www.madeeveryday.com/
My therapist is a straight shooter—very blunt. I appreciate it so much.